Oh so very tired! That is all I have to say! Even with over 25 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, I am still ultra tired!
Good thing we have sabbath!
Friday, April 20, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
So I feel like writing instead of studying tonight.....
Lately God has allowed me to get a glimpse of the sinfullness of my own life. I have seen myself in a totally new light. I have so often thought of myself as basically a pretty good little christian girl. I think the Lord has been really shaking me up lately as I have realized how far I have to go and I have gained a glimpse of the plans He has for me.
I have realized my lack of total abandonment for God. Am I will to serve God regardless of the cost? Am I will to give everything, even if it costs me my grades, career, my dreams and hopes to God and be willing to be totally used for Him? What if it means going to a little village way out in the jungles, away from my friends and family? What if it means never getting married and having kids? What if it means going to dangerous places? Am I still willing to commit 100% to God?
I have seen a glimpse of how selfish I am--only thinking of what will make me happy and how I want my plans to work out. I have limited God to my silly man made box. Do I trust God enough to allow Him to do whatever He needs to in my life?
Am I willing to give up everything to be used by God? Am I willing to sacrifice everything so that others may know God? Am I willing to undergo harrassment, teasing, loss of friends just for the cause of God? Am I willing to be considered radical for Him?
I have realized my lack of total abandonment for God. Am I will to serve God regardless of the cost? Am I will to give everything, even if it costs me my grades, career, my dreams and hopes to God and be willing to be totally used for Him? What if it means going to a little village way out in the jungles, away from my friends and family? What if it means never getting married and having kids? What if it means going to dangerous places? Am I still willing to commit 100% to God?
I have seen a glimpse of how selfish I am--only thinking of what will make me happy and how I want my plans to work out. I have limited God to my silly man made box. Do I trust God enough to allow Him to do whatever He needs to in my life?
Am I willing to give up everything to be used by God? Am I willing to sacrifice everything so that others may know God? Am I willing to undergo harrassment, teasing, loss of friends just for the cause of God? Am I willing to be considered radical for Him?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Thoughts from the kids mtgs at North River
I was reading the last 5 chapters of John this morning. I was again just amazed and humbled at how much God loves us. God loves us as much as He loves His Son. Not only this, but He bids us to love each other like He has loved us. I wondered, is it even possible to love others as much as Christ loves us?
I have been helping out with the children's meetings at North River this weekend, and I have been pretty much grief stricken with how little these kids know about love. I have grown up in a home where my parents would die for me if need be. They have given their entire lives to raising Sharon and me and giving us everything we possibly would ever need (and more!). But here are children who have to fight to survive, who cant read or write, who have no hope for a college education and a prosperous future. How sad!! I have been trying to figure out what I could do for these kids. I am only one person. Like Brian Glass was saying last night, as we drove back to the church from dropping the kids off, we couldnt do children meetings like this with just 5 people. It takes a whole army of college students to manage these kids. Think what would happen if the entire college became involved in reaching out to kids like this!
Anyway, just some food for thought for me. I feel like I am doing so little to reach out to others--the field is ripe for harvest, but there are oh so few laborers who have a single minded mission to reach the unreached. Yah yah, I put in around 4 -5 hrs a night into these evangelistic mtgs, and I put in over 40 hrs (at least) into the Health Expo, and blah blah and people say to me "how do you do everything and keep up your 4.0 GPA?" My only response is, I do so little! There is so much more to be done! I bet Jesus is just amazed at our laodiceanness.
I have been helping out with the children's meetings at North River this weekend, and I have been pretty much grief stricken with how little these kids know about love. I have grown up in a home where my parents would die for me if need be. They have given their entire lives to raising Sharon and me and giving us everything we possibly would ever need (and more!). But here are children who have to fight to survive, who cant read or write, who have no hope for a college education and a prosperous future. How sad!! I have been trying to figure out what I could do for these kids. I am only one person. Like Brian Glass was saying last night, as we drove back to the church from dropping the kids off, we couldnt do children meetings like this with just 5 people. It takes a whole army of college students to manage these kids. Think what would happen if the entire college became involved in reaching out to kids like this!
Anyway, just some food for thought for me. I feel like I am doing so little to reach out to others--the field is ripe for harvest, but there are oh so few laborers who have a single minded mission to reach the unreached. Yah yah, I put in around 4 -5 hrs a night into these evangelistic mtgs, and I put in over 40 hrs (at least) into the Health Expo, and blah blah and people say to me "how do you do everything and keep up your 4.0 GPA?" My only response is, I do so little! There is so much more to be done! I bet Jesus is just amazed at our laodiceanness.
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