Lately God has allowed me to get a glimpse of the sinfullness of my own life. I have seen myself in a totally new light. I have so often thought of myself as basically a pretty good little christian girl. I think the Lord has been really shaking me up lately as I have realized how far I have to go and I have gained a glimpse of the plans He has for me.
I have realized my lack of total abandonment for God. Am I will to serve God regardless of the cost? Am I will to give everything, even if it costs me my grades, career, my dreams and hopes to God and be willing to be totally used for Him? What if it means going to a little village way out in the jungles, away from my friends and family? What if it means never getting married and having kids? What if it means going to dangerous places? Am I still willing to commit 100% to God?
I have seen a glimpse of how selfish I am--only thinking of what will make me happy and how I want my plans to work out. I have limited God to my silly man made box. Do I trust God enough to allow Him to do whatever He needs to in my life?
Am I willing to give up everything to be used by God? Am I willing to sacrifice everything so that others may know God? Am I willing to undergo harrassment, teasing, loss of friends just for the cause of God? Am I willing to be considered radical for Him?
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