Oh so very tired! That is all I have to say! Even with over 25 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, I am still ultra tired!
Good thing we have sabbath!
Friday, April 20, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
So I feel like writing instead of studying tonight.....
Lately God has allowed me to get a glimpse of the sinfullness of my own life. I have seen myself in a totally new light. I have so often thought of myself as basically a pretty good little christian girl. I think the Lord has been really shaking me up lately as I have realized how far I have to go and I have gained a glimpse of the plans He has for me.
I have realized my lack of total abandonment for God. Am I will to serve God regardless of the cost? Am I will to give everything, even if it costs me my grades, career, my dreams and hopes to God and be willing to be totally used for Him? What if it means going to a little village way out in the jungles, away from my friends and family? What if it means never getting married and having kids? What if it means going to dangerous places? Am I still willing to commit 100% to God?
I have seen a glimpse of how selfish I am--only thinking of what will make me happy and how I want my plans to work out. I have limited God to my silly man made box. Do I trust God enough to allow Him to do whatever He needs to in my life?
Am I willing to give up everything to be used by God? Am I willing to sacrifice everything so that others may know God? Am I willing to undergo harrassment, teasing, loss of friends just for the cause of God? Am I willing to be considered radical for Him?
I have realized my lack of total abandonment for God. Am I will to serve God regardless of the cost? Am I will to give everything, even if it costs me my grades, career, my dreams and hopes to God and be willing to be totally used for Him? What if it means going to a little village way out in the jungles, away from my friends and family? What if it means never getting married and having kids? What if it means going to dangerous places? Am I still willing to commit 100% to God?
I have seen a glimpse of how selfish I am--only thinking of what will make me happy and how I want my plans to work out. I have limited God to my silly man made box. Do I trust God enough to allow Him to do whatever He needs to in my life?
Am I willing to give up everything to be used by God? Am I willing to sacrifice everything so that others may know God? Am I willing to undergo harrassment, teasing, loss of friends just for the cause of God? Am I willing to be considered radical for Him?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Thoughts from the kids mtgs at North River
I was reading the last 5 chapters of John this morning. I was again just amazed and humbled at how much God loves us. God loves us as much as He loves His Son. Not only this, but He bids us to love each other like He has loved us. I wondered, is it even possible to love others as much as Christ loves us?
I have been helping out with the children's meetings at North River this weekend, and I have been pretty much grief stricken with how little these kids know about love. I have grown up in a home where my parents would die for me if need be. They have given their entire lives to raising Sharon and me and giving us everything we possibly would ever need (and more!). But here are children who have to fight to survive, who cant read or write, who have no hope for a college education and a prosperous future. How sad!! I have been trying to figure out what I could do for these kids. I am only one person. Like Brian Glass was saying last night, as we drove back to the church from dropping the kids off, we couldnt do children meetings like this with just 5 people. It takes a whole army of college students to manage these kids. Think what would happen if the entire college became involved in reaching out to kids like this!
Anyway, just some food for thought for me. I feel like I am doing so little to reach out to others--the field is ripe for harvest, but there are oh so few laborers who have a single minded mission to reach the unreached. Yah yah, I put in around 4 -5 hrs a night into these evangelistic mtgs, and I put in over 40 hrs (at least) into the Health Expo, and blah blah and people say to me "how do you do everything and keep up your 4.0 GPA?" My only response is, I do so little! There is so much more to be done! I bet Jesus is just amazed at our laodiceanness.
I have been helping out with the children's meetings at North River this weekend, and I have been pretty much grief stricken with how little these kids know about love. I have grown up in a home where my parents would die for me if need be. They have given their entire lives to raising Sharon and me and giving us everything we possibly would ever need (and more!). But here are children who have to fight to survive, who cant read or write, who have no hope for a college education and a prosperous future. How sad!! I have been trying to figure out what I could do for these kids. I am only one person. Like Brian Glass was saying last night, as we drove back to the church from dropping the kids off, we couldnt do children meetings like this with just 5 people. It takes a whole army of college students to manage these kids. Think what would happen if the entire college became involved in reaching out to kids like this!
Anyway, just some food for thought for me. I feel like I am doing so little to reach out to others--the field is ripe for harvest, but there are oh so few laborers who have a single minded mission to reach the unreached. Yah yah, I put in around 4 -5 hrs a night into these evangelistic mtgs, and I put in over 40 hrs (at least) into the Health Expo, and blah blah and people say to me "how do you do everything and keep up your 4.0 GPA?" My only response is, I do so little! There is so much more to be done! I bet Jesus is just amazed at our laodiceanness.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Gods Love
I was reading I John through this evening, and I gained a totally new glimpse of God's incredible, awesome love for us.
I was just sitting there in a little room in the North River church thinking to myself, "wow!" God could use beautiful, perfect, shining angels to reach the lost of this earth (which would be SO more effective). But, wait! He doesnt! He uses us...silly, stupid, obnoxious, sinners. We under-estimate God, we grumble and complain when God has PROMISED to give us everything we need, we dont obey His amazing commission to tell the world about Him... we cheat, we lie, we hurt God day in and day out with our silly sinfulness and selfishness. But God uses us! He has chosen us to be the messengers of His amazing love and forgiveness. He looks past our short comings, and sinfulness and all our mistakes and hang ups. He loves us so much He says "You, Carol, are the person I have chosen! You are to bring MY people to me. I dont want an angel to do this job. The reason is this job is the most important job in the world to me. I love you so much that I am honored and privileged to give this job to you. Accept my love, and go share it." Wow.... really amazing. Really, really amazing.
During the sermon this last sabbath Malcom shared Acts 6:15. He also shared the story of this non-english speaking family that came to SEYC two weeks ago. Someone asked them afterwards if they understood any of the words being spoken. The man said, "Oh no... we couldnt understand the words. But we came because the faces of those involved in the program shone like angels faces." Wow, my face shone like an angel?! This is what God does to us! He makes us shine like angels.
It is so exciting to be involved in reaching out to people! This series of meetings at Chattanooga, and also the series I will be holding in Arizona is going to be simply amazing because God is using us and shining through our faces so that when others see us, they see the faces of angels.
I was just sitting there in a little room in the North River church thinking to myself, "wow!" God could use beautiful, perfect, shining angels to reach the lost of this earth (which would be SO more effective). But, wait! He doesnt! He uses us...silly, stupid, obnoxious, sinners. We under-estimate God, we grumble and complain when God has PROMISED to give us everything we need, we dont obey His amazing commission to tell the world about Him... we cheat, we lie, we hurt God day in and day out with our silly sinfulness and selfishness. But God uses us! He has chosen us to be the messengers of His amazing love and forgiveness. He looks past our short comings, and sinfulness and all our mistakes and hang ups. He loves us so much He says "You, Carol, are the person I have chosen! You are to bring MY people to me. I dont want an angel to do this job. The reason is this job is the most important job in the world to me. I love you so much that I am honored and privileged to give this job to you. Accept my love, and go share it." Wow.... really amazing. Really, really amazing.
During the sermon this last sabbath Malcom shared Acts 6:15. He also shared the story of this non-english speaking family that came to SEYC two weeks ago. Someone asked them afterwards if they understood any of the words being spoken. The man said, "Oh no... we couldnt understand the words. But we came because the faces of those involved in the program shone like angels faces." Wow, my face shone like an angel?! This is what God does to us! He makes us shine like angels.
It is so exciting to be involved in reaching out to people! This series of meetings at Chattanooga, and also the series I will be holding in Arizona is going to be simply amazing because God is using us and shining through our faces so that when others see us, they see the faces of angels.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Done with midterms! YES!
I am all done with midterms--what a relief! This was one of the most intense weeks I have ever had. I wasnt sure I would survive last night. I think I was close to the most panicked I have ever been preparing for tests before. But God is so good to me. I had been studying alone all day but a friend came walking by in the library around 10:30pm and I was talking with the person and they were expressing similar feelings. We just knelt down on the floor in the library, and gave all the stress and worry to God and just left everything in His hands. God is so faithful to His word, for He gave us both the peace that passes all understanding and He also gave me a clear mind to keep studying most of the night. It was an awesome experience.
I am so glad that God is faithful to His promises and is always with us. That thought has been such an encouragment to me this week. One of the reasons this week has been exceptionally hard is that a number of major negative factors/circumstances/happenings have occurred, and the devil has really jumped on the chance to get me discouraged. A few nights ago, I went walking down by the duck pond and just sat down there for the longest time thinking about everything that has been going on. Since it was late at night, I could just sit down there and talk to God out loud (a rare occurance these days!) and I was much encouraged that God is still with me and in control of my life.
I feel so unprepared to preach my own evangelistic series this summer. A lot of people I know are going have their whole church praying for them and family's and their friends supporting them. I have yet to have one person say they will pray for me, or give me words of encouragment. But I feel that this is where God has called me, and I am going to answer God's call. God promised Jeremiah to put His words in [Jeremiah's] mouth, and I have asked God to do the same for me. I trust God to keep His promises.
I am going home for Spring break. I am hoping to go snowboarding. Mt. Ashland has 10 1/2 feet of snow at the top of the mountain right now. They got 68 inches of snow last week! I am hoping it will stop snowing long enough for I-5 to get cleared off so I can drive down there.
One of the main reasons I am going home is to see baby Shalyn. Sharon told me she is planning on going to Mt. Hood area for both weekends I am home and so I am not sure if i will get to see baby that much after all. It will be good to be home though, and eat good food, and SLEEP! hehe
I am going to bed.
I am so glad that God is faithful to His promises and is always with us. That thought has been such an encouragment to me this week. One of the reasons this week has been exceptionally hard is that a number of major negative factors/circumstances/happenings have occurred, and the devil has really jumped on the chance to get me discouraged. A few nights ago, I went walking down by the duck pond and just sat down there for the longest time thinking about everything that has been going on. Since it was late at night, I could just sit down there and talk to God out loud (a rare occurance these days!) and I was much encouraged that God is still with me and in control of my life.
I feel so unprepared to preach my own evangelistic series this summer. A lot of people I know are going have their whole church praying for them and family's and their friends supporting them. I have yet to have one person say they will pray for me, or give me words of encouragment. But I feel that this is where God has called me, and I am going to answer God's call. God promised Jeremiah to put His words in [Jeremiah's] mouth, and I have asked God to do the same for me. I trust God to keep His promises.
I am going home for Spring break. I am hoping to go snowboarding. Mt. Ashland has 10 1/2 feet of snow at the top of the mountain right now. They got 68 inches of snow last week! I am hoping it will stop snowing long enough for I-5 to get cleared off so I can drive down there.
One of the main reasons I am going home is to see baby Shalyn. Sharon told me she is planning on going to Mt. Hood area for both weekends I am home and so I am not sure if i will get to see baby that much after all. It will be good to be home though, and eat good food, and SLEEP! hehe
I am going to bed.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
OCI Retreat
I went to the OCI Reliance Retreat Center again this last weekend. What an awesome place that is! Once you get away from all the distractions of society, and out in the quiet of nature, you can hear God so much better!
I decided to get up early each morning, before any of the 45 people were awake and spend some time with God. I had such an awesome time walking by the frozen pond, seeing the birds wake up and seeing the sun come up over the cabin early in the morning. There were so many awesome things that I saw. I saw frost on the grass that was frozen in place around the edges of the pond that was so intricate that it was absolutely a total work of art. I saw patterns in the ice on the pond that was amazing. I saw the moon over the cabin that was so clear that it looked like I could just hop in a little plane and go fly and land on it! I believe that God put those things there for me to enjoy, knowing that I needed the extra lift, and the extra assurance that He was with me.
In the business of the weekend, I dont know of anyone else who took that special time to get up early and enjoy these small, but amazing things. I wished that there was someone there who i could have enjoyed it with, but maybe God put those things there just for me to enjoy. (Well, I know He did, since no one else saw them.)
It was a great weekend.
I decided to get up early each morning, before any of the 45 people were awake and spend some time with God. I had such an awesome time walking by the frozen pond, seeing the birds wake up and seeing the sun come up over the cabin early in the morning. There were so many awesome things that I saw. I saw frost on the grass that was frozen in place around the edges of the pond that was so intricate that it was absolutely a total work of art. I saw patterns in the ice on the pond that was amazing. I saw the moon over the cabin that was so clear that it looked like I could just hop in a little plane and go fly and land on it! I believe that God put those things there for me to enjoy, knowing that I needed the extra lift, and the extra assurance that He was with me.
In the business of the weekend, I dont know of anyone else who took that special time to get up early and enjoy these small, but amazing things. I wished that there was someone there who i could have enjoyed it with, but maybe God put those things there just for me to enjoy. (Well, I know He did, since no one else saw them.)
It was a great weekend.
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